Tuesday, December 02, 2008

12/2/08

“They took us with them... but they didn’t have to.”
cutline head suggestion from Pamela for all the shutterbugs we’re getting. 9/21

“I look sad and like I don’t fit in.”
Naomi, 9/27

“I’m sick of networking.”
L, 10/10

“I wanted to say ‘You can just buy an ad to put a picture of your red-headed family.’”
Pamela, 10/16

“And she was like ‘Erika Badu,’ and I was like ‘Erika Badon’t!’”
overheard by Jonathan at McDonald’s.. 10/18

College girl: Did ya’ll hear that Paparazzi died?
Bill: You mean Pavarotti? The opera singer?
College girl: His name is Pavarotti? I thought it was Paparazzi.
Bill: No. I’m pretty sure it’s Pavarotti.
College girl: And all this time, I thought he was the guy who killed Princess Diana.
10/19, overheard by Erin

“I’ll be back. I have to go tell lies to the Chamber Leadership group.”
Bobby, 10/25

“I’d hate to be marrying a Coward.”
Pamela, 10/29.. groom’s last name is Coward

“Of course, I’ve been known to smoke crack soo... I usually smoke it before I make photo assignments.”
Gary Laney, 10/30

“I don’t like to get in people’s personal life, but I wanna pull her aside and say ‘Are you sure about this one?’”
Pamela, 11/12, about a couple submitting an engagement

“Listen, next time you eavesdrop, please pay attention!”
Pamela to Hector, 11/13

“He should be glad b/c he doesn’t get that much respect on a daily basis.”
Pamela, 11/16

“If she has too much to drink at the wedding reception, they can say “Well, Peebles wobble, but they don’t fall down.”
Pamela, 11/28, bride’s last name is Peebles

“He’s walking the walk, but not Ho Ho’ing the talk.”
Pamela, about Santa on one of our pages. 11/29

“I saw a truck stop for a hooker this morning.”
Naomi, 12/12

“I dont want to be awake when that thing’s going up my butt,” Jamie, 12/12 re: colonoscopy

“I mean, who writes epic poems on the Civil War?”
Jamie, 12/18.


“Man, how old is Fidel Castro?!”
Takisha, 12/19

“Ok, you be careful now. Those convicts can be dangerous.”
Pamela on the phone, 1/15.

“This is some very fashionable gum,” Takisha, 1/21, re: new Five gum.

“It's very Queen Elizabeth-looking.”
Jamie re: Crystal's wedding hairdo. 12/28


Are the ‘90s considered Retro? Takisha, 2/1/08

What am I going to do with an Australian Super Tans coupon? Takisha. 2/25

“I am so bored, I could rip my face off,” Claudette. march 13

“Throwing stuff at people is not very nice.”
shawn, 3/17

“She probably had hemorrhoids,” Jamie, re: a sour-faced woman who didn’t laugh during our talk to a woman’s club. March 18

“Life is full of disappointments,” L, after Daddy George Bush had to cancel his trip to Cameron. march 18

“What priest doesn’t check his e-mail?!” L, in response to priest not getting the e-mail about writing an Easter message for the front page of the paper. Readers were mad that we didn’t have one. March 25

There is something about pesticides that doesn’t please the palate, L re: eating an organic (non-pesticide) cupcake. March 26

“Was that a popular show?”
Victoria to Hector about The Facts of Life, 3/27

“Everything is better with lard in it,” Brian, 4/8.

“Waking up on a Monday morning and finding out your favorite restaurant burned to the ground — not a good way to start off the week,” L, upon hearing DeAngelo’s burned down. 4/18

“it was someone similar to Gail,” Ron Gibson, 4/23, trying to save Gail Norris some grief as she was being accused of burning popcorn.

“The alleged curtain burned in McNeese’s Theater,” L, jokingly using the word “alleged.”

“I have my own special little method of washing clothes in a bucket,” Ron, 4/30, re: using a clean plunger to wash.

“Saint Anthony, you are my best friend in the whole world!”
Pamela, April 30

“The lady who just called.. I’m gonna be her husband. Her name’s Jack.”
Ron, 5/2... no idea wht he’s talking about

“How do you kidnap your parents? Isn’t that like taking them for a ride?” Brian Guilbeau, re: story on the news about a guy who kidnapped his parents.

“The only queen they haven’t come up with yet is “Baby Miss Sonogram.” Pamela, re: queen titles.

“Can’t you get new ears? That’ll probably cost about $20,000.”
Ron, overheard 5/13

"Who needs a dictionary when you have a Laura?" Takisha, 5/13

"I think I am thirsty. That is why I keep on eating apples."

2006
“I am so glad I have such good looking relatives,” Virginia Lacy, 2006. Lance and Laura went to her 106th bday party at Grand Cove to interview her for a story and this is what she said to them.

2007
“God, I wonder how all those toothless people in Topsy do it?” L, re: eating hard foods without any teeth. 10/20

“We have got to get a Jesus ladder,” Jamie, re: decorating the Jesus as Consolata Cemetery according to each holiday. 10/27

“There is nothing left but wings and sinew,” Dennis 11/19, after seeing what was left of the turkey we got from Johnson’s Funeral Home.

Dec. 6 — Heather: Erin covered the subject (buying pets for Christmas) completely. I think I will look for another feature.
Laura: Awwww. What about pet clothing?
Heather: You mean fur?

“This damn phone. I put it in my pocket and kept hearing click. Now, I have 300 pictures of the inside of my pocket.”
Bobby, Dec. 10, re: new cell phone. 12/10

“I am not about to get used to it — that’s for sure,” Takisha, 12/18, re: people hanging up on her.


2008
“Can I borrow your Dustbuster? Shawn has schmutz in his drawers,” L, 1/17, re: desk drawers.

“I thought I had figured out men at 10 (years old),” Takisha, 1/18

“I dont think I have ever heard the words ‘bishop’ and ‘hauled ass’ in the same sentence before,” Donna re: Jamie, 1/28, rushing from one assignment to the next.

“Is honky tonk one word or two?” John Guidroz, 2/6.

“What am I going to do with an Australian Super Tans coupon?” Takisha. 2/25

“I am so bored, I could rip my face off,” Claudette. 3/13

“Throwing stuff at people is not very nice.” Shawn, 3/17

“What priest doesn’t check his e-mail?!” L, in response to priest not getting the e-mail about writing an Easter message for the front page of the paper. Readers were mad that we didn’t have one. 3/25

“Do I have to put lipstick on for this?” L, re: man coming in to do some filming in the newsroom. I think they are doing a documentary on Shawn. 3/27

“Waking up on a Monday morning and finding out your favorite restaurant burned to the ground — not a good way to start off the week,” L, upon hearing DeAngelo’s burned down. 4/14

“When I was little, I wanted to be a nun — but, I am not Catholic,” Takisha, 4/29.

“I have my own special little method of washing clothes in a bucket,” Ron, 4/30, re: using a clean plunger to wash.

“How do you kidnap your parents? Isn’t that like taking them for a ride?” Brian Guilbeau, re: story on the news about a guy who kidnapped his parents 5/2

“The only queen they haven’t come up with yet is ‘Baby Miss Sonogram.’” Pamela, re: queen titles.5/7

“I just got corrected by some bird watchers,” Shawn, 6/16.

“Know what I was thinking about in bed the other night?
Solar panels,” Naomi, 6/25

“He looks like a loaf of bread. I look at him and I say, ‘loaf of bread.’” Jamie Gates, talking about KPLC’s news director. 7/1

“It’s like Hoffa. Look at him. Nobody knows where he’s buried,” Jamie. 7/1

“Is it my imagination or is it brighter around here?” Pamela quote re: more lightbulbs in newsroom. 7/1

“I’ve never seen one so big!” Pamela squealed re: a watermelon.
“It’s all in the girth,” Naomi, again with the watermelon. 7/2

“I like things that stink,” Karen Wink re: Her garlic and black pepper Triscuits with onion cream cheese. 7/16

“I’ve just edited two stories about hormones and I am so glad I am a man,” Brian G. 7/16

“Nobody sells good mangoes around here,” Shawn. 7/16

“I feel like a cross between a burned French fry and a salt block,” Karen Wink, after taking photos on the football field for hours. 8/6

“I think I have a legitimate man crush on Michael Phelps,” Brian Guilbeau re: Olympic swimmer 8/15

“I party like I am 65 years old,” Takisha re: how she SO doesn’t shut a party down. 8/17

“I don’t think I could drink my own pee; I just don’t think I can do it,” Shawn, re: on Survivorman show. 8/11

“I haven’t been around live chickens very often,” John Guidroz. 8/20

“That was hardly worth it,” Shawn, to Takisha when she asked to play with his boxing nun toy -- only to play with it for like, 10 seconds. 8/22

“They are canceling Mass on Sunday. Who cancels Mass?”Laura, 8/28

Your gas can is bigger than my gas can,” Karen Wink to Brad.
8/29

“I don’t hate him. I would probably cry if he died.”
L, 10/10

L: “I forgot to tell you that Retro is a boil on the neck..”
Ron: “I’m not doing a page about boils.”
10/10

Man brings in letter to the editor and gives to Brett.
Brett: I’m sorry sir, we can’t print “no count filthy whore” in the paper and why would you say that about your sister?
Man: OK then, change it to “pole cat.”
10/14

“Have you seen Debbie Allen? She’s like me. She’s a lunchbox. I can say that. I’m a fat man.”Shawn, 10/17

“I mean, what does poo poo taste like?!”
L, wondering why dogs eat cat poop out of the litter box. 10/23

“That costs me a lot of money. That was more than 5 bucks.”
Ron, 11/4

“I already got teeth in art. I don’t need any more,” Ron’s response when Laura said she would give him the teeth she has to have pulled. 11/5

“Do the gynecologists and proctologists have a magnet like that?” Ron, when he saw Laura’s dental appt. reminder magnet was in the shape of a tooth. 11/5

"Can you make it bigger if you want?" Pamela to Brad about the size of the type on his computer.
11/20

“We need to start getting the preacher Christmas crap together.”
Ron, 12/2

“I look like a crack hoe.”
L, 12/2

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Sept. 20

“And, I hate salmon!”
John Bridges, 7/26, on why he isn’t jumping for joy about his two-week Alaskan cruise (that and a boat full of retirees).

We’re not doing anything but having a barbecue, Ron, 8/1 to firefighters when they were called to a house he was visiting.

You have to preface anything you say with “Go Tigers!” Ron, re: how to talk to Bobby.

“I wouldn’t want her to go topless.”
Pamela, 8/14, no clue...

“I heard my ancestors were bad ass rebels in Scotland,” Jamie, 8/15, discussing Scots and Brits with MIke Jones.

I hope you didn’t use the word ‘cracker’,” Jamie re: Lance’s phone conversation with Jamie Gaines. 8/15

Hey, can I borrow 60-cents? I left my wad of hundreds at home,” Hector to Jeremy, 8/17

“It’s better than lighting things on fire,” Claudette 8/17 when asked if she likes shooting guns.

"Is Gillis real?" Jeremy, 8/29 asked sincerely when trying to determine the dateline for his article.

"I dont want it to go the way of the Los Lonely Boys," Eric, 9/4

“There is mouse crap on my sheep and I am not happy about it,” L, re: droppings on her stuffed lamb.9/5

“I don’t want a candle that smells like shrimp.”
Laura, Sept. 5

"I hate it when my figs come out," 9/10. Gary Laney

"I'm addicted to water disasters," Ron Gibson, 9/12, re: movies.

"It had real nice legs," Ron, 9/12 re: a chair.

“ Do you have life insurance?”
Bobby to ??? 9/18

I cant imagine a more depressing thought than sitting in one of those FEMA trailers and doing drugs, Natasha, 9/20, after reading the crime stats from the Crying Eagle trailer park.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

July 26

“The only time it’s loud in here is when someone brings in food.”
4/12, Naomi, after customer commented on how quiet the newsroom is.

“Milk is a scam. It’s brainwashing. It’s like bottled water.”
Kenman, 4/13

“Come on... Donna Price = LPA awards!”
Naomi, 4/13

“I’m suddenly thinking of a big, juicy pickle.”
Naomi, 4/13, 8 mos. pregnant.

“Well, he had his purse, so I don’t think so.”
Laura, 4/13, when asked if a male reporter was coming back to the office

“Rosemary’s not bad; it’s just when you have a baby that’s possessed,” Jamie, 4/17, when finding out a coworker has an aunt named Rosemary.

“Oh, look at the...thing!” Jamie, 4/18, looking at Brett’s photos of the Colisseum.

“I can’t resist the lure of day-old doughnuts,” Ruth, 4/21

"So, now you’ve done two bishops!"
L, 4/23, to Jamie re: how she has
covered the ordinations of two bishops

"They had a Cajun band, but nobody was dancing."
Jamie, 4/23.

"I don’t even know what a bishop looks like. They are all so old, how
can you tell?"
Ron, 4/23

Natasha: “He said he wants me to write that his nickname is ‘Knuckles.’ He said that’s his nickname right now.”
Bobby: “Next week it will be ‘Ding a Ling.’”
4/26

I’ve been “A-SAL-ted,” L, to Bobby, after spending 30 minutes on the
phone with Sal Messina. 4/27

Michaela: What’s the name for the mammal that looks like a dolphin
and starts with a P?
Cassie: A papoose?
Jeremy: You can’t put your baby in a porpoise.
5/4

“I grew up in a house with no working stove.
Ruth, 5/9, re: childhood
hardships.

"Anything to break up the monopoly."
L, 5/10, meaning to say MONOTONY.

Said at Natasha’s birthday party:
“I love woodpeckers,” Tara Ferguson
“We were excited when we went from glue to wax,” Jo Richardson, re:
pasting up news pages.
“I have a cat; we have a serious relationship,” Jeremy Harper

"Man, if I quit drinking, I'd be Paris Hilton."
Kenman, 6/7, re: lost
15 pounds working out, but hasn't quit drinking beer.

"I live for clothes. Who needs kids? I got clothing."
L, 6/14

"I heard someone complaining in here. I thought it was Nick."
Bobby
said as popped in his head at Naomi's shower when he heard Cameron
crying. 6/29

“It’s a little too early to drink.”
Pamela, when Brianne asked if she wanted water. 7/6

“I’ve had more than one job in my life.”
Ron, 7/13

“I’d rather aspirate boudin than hot sauce.”
Jamie, 7/17

Thursday, April 12, 2007

April 12

“Ha ha! God loves me more than you!”
Gail, overheard.. no idea what this means.

“There’s nothing wrong with a Geo Metro if you try to pimp it.”
Claudette

“I’ve been on Iris.. where’s Iris again?”
Kenman, about Iris Street

“It’s like ‘The Case of the Missing Studio People.’ Man... they just never show up. It’s a conspiracy.”
Kenman, photo studio appointments

“You know, old people never get their picture taken.”
about council on aging event

“It’s about Tony Kushner, so you know there’s gonna be a bunch of artsy fartsies there.”

“I’m looking dumber as it goes by.”
E.C.

“I try to be cute, but sometimes cute doesn’t work.”
Laura

“Jump up my a$$ sideways!”
after hanging up with an (apparently) rude customer.

“Did someone just say ‘roach clip’?”
Paul

“I think we have had enough death today.”
Jamie, re: guy found dead in water and a bridge jumper

“I got one with a dancing tiger and a squirrel on a branch.”
Gail

“I’m sick of getting awards and stuff.”
Lance

“Who doesn’t like Donna Price?!”
Gail

“Thanks for calling my child Spooky.”
Naomi to kenman

“Party pics, no action. Got it.”
Gary to L when asking about what kind of stuff she looks for in a digital camera.

“Do I like him? Is he cute?”
Tara, on phone, about Panthers’ backup quarterback

"He has a big viola."
re: her viola teacher.

“I've been talking to old people for two days.”
Re: article interviews.

“I’m like ‘Dude, I haven’t even tooken a picture yet.’”
Kenman

“DANG! Even if you don't have 'em, dose brats'll ruin your social life.”
Lisa Trouth, lamenting that Laura couldn't go out b/c she had to go to her nephew's bday party.

“We’ll have to hump it around the priest thing.”
Dennis, re: bishop special section

Monday, February 19, 2007

“I hope it’s not the MKL festival.”

“That’s like a big dill pickle — what’s the point of that?!?!”
overheard in advertising

“I’ve had similar experiences.. not the erasing of memory, but ...”

“She’s Catholic, so it could happen anytime.”
Gary, after being asked when he and his wife would get pregnant

“Ok then, thanks, put me in the will!”
Kenman re: Natasha’s interview with someone who has less than a year to live. She didn’t know this before talking to him.

“I don’t wanna go past 80. Eighty is the new 70.”
L, doesn’t want to live past 80 years old

“Music sounds better stolen.”

“I have another queen on my hands.. a pecan queen. Those queens are nutty.”
Pamela

Regarding Coop’s smoking:
“One and a half packs a day? How are you still f@&*ing alive?” — Brian
“How many packs a day does Luke smoke?” — Johnathan, Luke is Coop’s son

“Excuse me, but we need pretzels.”

Monday, January 08, 2007

Jan. 8

“The fix is in if pinkie lost.”
election night

“I don’t remember giving that to you. I have good taste.”

“There is a dead mouse in the electric trap and its bones are sticking out.”

“I wouldn’t pay for a condiment!”

"I got dumped for Christmas. That's what I got."

"She hasn't thrown up since I exorcised her."

“You don’t want to get into a popularity contest with Maurice Cheeks.”

“I’ve counted. I’ve peed six times since I’ve been here. I’m seriously getting tired of peeing.”

Monday, November 06, 2006

Nov. 6

“Oh, I forgot I wanted to clean my belly button.”
Naomi

“It’s the biggest trailer park in the freaking country. You can’t miss it.”
Kenman

“You watch the LSU game Jeremy? Pfffffft... I’m never watching them again.”
Kenman

“If he could just run, he’d be Vince Young.”
Kenman

“Well... let the paginating begin.”
Pamela

“I always wear the same material.”

“He’s been beat into submission. It’s just like ‘Planet of the Apes.’”
L, 10/11

“Vegetables aren’t news, unless they are exploding or something,”
re: guy calling about his turnip greens and turnips classified ad’

“This is the biggest upset of the year.”
arizona/chicago game

“There’s a dead guy in buy photos.”
Naomi.

“I don’t guffaw often.”

“I am so glad they make phone books”
L.

“All that good sausage, gone to waste.”

“What’s that thing called Jeremy? Whatever, whatever, whatever, economic something?”
Ken

Jamie: Whatcha doin' L?
L: alphebetizing
10/18

“How nice it must be to have the only upsetting thing in your life be that there isn't enough advertising for the Elvis impersonator.”
Naomi

“Wish I could find Jesus..”
Ron
“Ron, one day you’ll find Jesus..”
L
Ron: “In Clipart”

“How’s that rash?”